Communication is Key.
Hello!
How are you guys doing this week? I hope you are well, and your week is going fan-tas-tic!
The blog today is going to be touching on communication with your spouse. I am choosing this topic because of a discussion Heab and I had with each other today.
COMMUNICATION IS HARD!
At least this is my opinion. When you hardly ever see your spouse, you live separate lives. That is normal in this kind of predicament. For those of you that have kept up with me thus far, you have seen that Heab works a lot. He is here maybe a couple days out of a month. This is sort of what we are used to in our marriage, so trust me when I say it is not for everyone!
He really enjoys his job, and especially the guy’s he works with. We have an RV, but right now we are stuck in a contract and can't leave. However, that situation will end very soon. Anyway, we find it difficult to communicate with one another because he works nights, I work days with all my stuff... So, when he is going to bed, I am getting up to do my stuff. The only time we really can talk, is during his work hours (which is when I should be in bed). Therefore, we do not communicate as we should. We find ourselves frustrated at one another most times nowadays, because he is working a lot; so, we have no time to communicate.
This is the same with a lot of married couples! Quite a bit of married couples experience deaths of their marriages because of communication discrepancies (Smalley, 2014). This is a little different article, but one in the same. Communication is communication, no matter how you look at it. I have seen married couples only have things to talk about by gossiping about others, or discussing things about the kids. It had nothing to do about the interest with one or the other. This is awful! It's robotic, in my opinion. There is nothing real about the conversations. Then, they will lead to arguments. After that, you will lose track of the reason you got married to begin with.
photo courtesy of: pixabay.com
Your marriage will slowly disintegrate if you do not fix this problem. What can you do to fix this problem?
Well, first thing's first. Let your spouse know you are interested in them!
It'll get deeper, let's continue.
Be vulnerable with your spouse. It's imperative that you do this because the vulnerability will show them you are open to their support, and protection. We, as wives, must show our husband's that we do care about their safety. Not only their physical safety, but their emotional safety as well. Men are simple human beings, for the most part. Of course, there are few that are not so easy to make happy- but for the most part, they all mostly want the same things.
They are:
- Respect (appreciation, letting them be the head of the household, not overpowering them)
- Love (trust, honesty, etc.)
- Sex (there's no need to describe this! ;) haha)
Research says, it is in this order for gentlemen. Women, on the other hand, want so much more. I know a lot of women say they don't require a lot, but c'mon ladies... Most of us know better. Here's what I've learned about myself, I want:
- Love (appreciate me, honesty, trust)
- Safety (protection from everyone- even you, I want to count on you to do the right thing)
- Emotional support (tell me it'll all be alright)
- Nurturing (I want to be held when having a bad day, guard my heart from hurtful things)
- Sex
- Dependability (to feel like I can count on you not always wanting to exit, relationship stability)
My list is not in order... Lol. However, all the descriptions are accurate for me. If you and your spouse are having difficulties communicating the needs you have from one another, tell them. They cannot read your mind, and there is no need to get upset at them when they don't know what you want. That also goes for men! If you have not told your special lady what you want, how do you expect her to know? There is no reason to completely ignore your spouse.
When that starts happening, you can pretty much kiss your marriage goodbye. Unless, you are willing to put the effort in to change it. ALL marriages can be saved, in my opinion. It takes a lot of effort, and patience to do so.
True love will always conquer.
Listen ya'll... The whole point of this blog post was to let you know that you MUST communicate with your partner. No matter what they have done wrong, no matter what is going on daily in your lives. It must be a priority, no matter what. Of course marriage is not perfect, but there is no harm in trying to please each other!
It's not only happy wife, happy life- like the saying says.
I don't want to be the only one happy! I don't want to get my way to make my husband happy... because then he will not be happy. I want to come to a compromise on EVERYTHING we do not agree on. That way, we can say we did this together- and it'll be what we both enjoy. Keep that in mind when you don't get your way. It's not only about you or the other... It's about both of you.
I know I cut it a little short, I think... LOL. Now that the intenseness is over, let me leave you with this! Lol.
Everyone in this life deserves to be happy. God wants us to live life abundantly. How are we living abundantly if we are always walking on eggshells with one another?
Be kind, and love others ya'll. Life is short!
All my love,
-D
Resource:
Smalley, G. (2014, April). Why Couples Stop Talking. Retrieved April 27, 2017, from http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/why-couples-stop-talking
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