That One Ugly "D" Word, cont...

Not too long ago, we discussed divorce. But, we did not cover how divorce affects children.

Let's jump right in.

I'll just be the first to say that children are completely innocent in this, and they need to know that. You should tell them that, at least every few days. Especially, when they start to get upset that mom/dad is not around anymore. They have no idea why the world they knew, is suddenly being ripped apart from them. All they know is mom/dad is no longer around, and they miss them terribly. I've done some research based on this topic so I can give you a little more insight. More than half of all divorces include children under 18-years-old, and close to 40% of all children will have gone through a parental divorce before becoming an adult (Amato, 2000). I don't know about you, but to me- that number needs to come down dramatically.

According to multiple studies, single-parent families adds to many social problems, poverty, crime, drugs, and bad grades. However, although divorce is stressful, it can give children and their parents a second chance for happiness. Which, can also help the children get away from a dysfunctional home environment. When parents' divorce, it starts a variety of numerous things that triggers stress. The stress increases the risk of negative emotional, behavioral, and health outcomes for both the adults and children (Amato, 2000).

Another thing to consider when going through a divorce with your kids involved, is the loss of support that will happen to both the parent and children. There will be loss of emotional support, losing friends you made together with your spouse, and your economic stability may suffer. You may have to move from your home into a less expensive environment, and get employment if you've been the homemaker (Amato, 2000).

This was only a little information that I have gathered for you. If you would like to see more, you can go to my HubPages account and my articles will be listed. Listen, it's like this... divorce is never easy on anyone. I didn't start appreciating my parent's divorce until I became an adult. I was so confused most of my life up to adulthood because I felt like I didn’t know how to treat my step-parents. Both my mother, and father remarried while I was still in grade school so I was so confused and hurt. Was I allowed to love my step-mother, and possibly hurt my mother? Was I allowed to love my step-dad, and hurt my real dad? Would my siblings hate me if I did love my step-parent's? I didn't want to hurt anyone, so behind the smiles I was hurting so badly. Only few people knew that at the time. Most of my family doesn't know that now. I was always afraid of what may happen if I decided to open up to someone. I turned to the wrong people to love me, and they ended up hurting me as well. I was alone, until I found Christ. My point is, the emotional damage can last a lifetime. Because you're not happy any longer, is such a terrible reason to hurt your child. Every marriage can be worked out, if both parties are willing to change. It's NEVER just one or the other. Be sure to let your children know you love them, and it's okay to love.

Reference:

Amato, P. R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62(4), 1269-1287. Retrieved from http://ezproxy.liberty.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/docview/219767117?accountid=12085